Fractal Blogging Strategies

Freaking hilarious.

A Grimoire for the Wizards of Search

SERP's & Searchers
A compendium of magical spells for the wizards of search and technology.

To the outside world, we are the mystical manipulators of magical energies that surround the inner sanctum of search. However, within our ranks, we are divided... the wizards of the white hat and the wizards of the black hat. We eternally battle to control the virtual domain of the everpresent Google, who was, who is and who will be to come, the Master of Past and Present.

There are powerful spells and arcane knowledge that we possess to channel the energies of semantics and the internet.

Level 1 Spells:

• Summon Keywords: This ability allows the wizard of search to conjure up lists of relevant keywords. At higher levels, this spell allows the wizard to have a more focused and refined list.
• Reveal Plugins: The legendary Firefox, unlike the Explorer has the ability to allow wizards to customize it according to their needs, during incantations, this can be helpful to give the wizard to see deeper into the site than normal.
• Detect Spam: Upon looking at the page, the wizard will be able to spot non-sensical and repeating phrases that plague the site.
• View Source: There is a hidden world behind all websites, the wizards of search are able to decipher the source and divine the hidden knowledge that it has.
• Summon Directories: The search wizard can tap the energies and forces that flow from public directories. These energies enhance the site with a glow that the Search Gods recognize.
• Spam Source: One of the first spells the wizards of the black hat learns, this allows the wizard to manipulate the search engines with repetative words. This ability could backfire however, as they could be banished by the Search Gods.

Level 2 Spells:

• Summon Key Phrases: The wizard is now able to craft the summoned keywords into phrases that match the intent of the site.
  
• Summon Title Tags: The wizard is able to manipulate the site's source directly and give it the ability to be named. Once a page or a site has a true name, the Gods of Search can properly identify it and give it its due.
  
• Detect Redirect I: This spell allows the wizard to detect the simplest of redirects, the meta-refresh and the Java Redirect. Once the redirect is identified the wizard is able to channel the coding magic to put them in order.
  
• Find Whois: The "Whois" spell allows the wizard to find other sites on the same IP, revealing other efforts of the black hat wizards.
  
• Text of Invisibility: A higher level of the spam spell, this allows the black hat wizards to hide their spam with white on white text, text under images, spammed ALT tags and source code spam so that the users dont see the spam.
  
• Shrink Text: Another black hat spell, this causes normal text to be shrunk past the point of legibility, yet still be seen by users and search engines. Another variation of the spam spell, it often causes confusion and anger in user behavior.
  
• Summon Links I: A summoning spell more powerful than "summon directory", this spell allows the wizard to manipulate the words on the page to draw unsuspecting users to feel a compulsion to link to them. At this level, the user has a good chance to resist the urge, but each link adds more energy to the site.

Level 3 Spells:

• Invoke User Intent: The wizard is able to determine the users' mind and use the keyword phrases to guide them along the path of their intent.
  
• Summon Description: This spell combines the ability to charm the user into entering the site, while keeping the keyword integrity intact.
  
• Summon Link Bait: The wizard is able to charm a massive amount of people into linking to their site.
  
• Detect Redirct II: Upon detection, the wizard is able to see more difficult redirects and divine the type of them, 301 and 302 redirects become second nature to the wizard.
  
• Summon Paid Traffic: By combining the energy channels of the search engines, the wizard sacrifices a small amount of their own vitality in exchange for traffic and the potential to gain a higher amount of vitality
  
• Div of Invisibility: The wizards of the black hat are able to hide some of their spam spells in a div of invisibility, while it's harder for the search engines to catch, there is a chance that they will.
  
• Summon Link Farm: Another black hat wizard technique, this spell summons thousands and thousands of links from other sites, these energy channels are less effective than the true channels, they provide a short term benefit to the black hat wizard.
  
• Evoke Lesser Blogger: Once evoked, the lesser blogger writes about the wizard and hails their efforts in front of their own audience. Both wizards benefit from this spell... but it's also a double edged spell, there's a chance that the blogger will turn on the wizard and try to break him down.
  
• Summon Lesser Industry Contact: There are many wizards of search, this spell allows the wizard access to speak with the industry contact over long distances, the incantations and help from the industry contact allow the lesser wizard to focus and potentially spark new ideas.
  

Level 4 Spells:

• Behavioral Scrying: With this spell, the wizard can see into the minds of multiple users and allow them to create enchantments to attract more and more people. The users find what they want and share some of their vitality with the wizard.
  
• Summon Links III: At this level, the links summoned are from high level wizards, institutions and other quality sites. There is a chance, that at this point, the summoned links will continually rise on their own.
  
• Control Page Rank: One of the tools of the black hat wizard is to manipulate the very energy of the mythic page rank, they're able to use the forces of the search engines against them and create an illusiory page rank.
  
• Decipher Analytics: This spell translates the numbers, graphs and percentages of the analytics portal into real information, when used with the spell behavioral scrying, the potential is limitless.
  
• Invoke Keyword Campaign: The highest level of the keyword spells, the wizard can form a vast chain of keywords that focus on user intent and relevance into a grand unified keyword strategy.
  
• Link Bomb: One of the tools of the black hat wizard, they're able to turn the search engines themselves into weapons. With the link bomb, the wizard can target specific phrases and force their enemy into a negative situation.
  
• Summon Greater Blogger: Like the summon lesser blogger, this allows the wizard to connect with the powers of the other wizards. At this point, there is a low chance of failure since the wizard is able to effectively wield their powers.
  
• Trade Show Teleport: A simple spell in actuality, but powerful in application. The wizard must be at a certain level to understand the concepts and applications of the trade shows.. the added benefit is that the material spell cost is usually paid by someone else.
  
• Create Spell: At this point in the wizard's experience, they're able to see the interaction of all the mystical energies of the search matrix and can create their own spells to see if they work or fail.
  

Level 5 Spells:

• Create Blog: With a vast amount of knowledge and experience, the wizard becomes a lesser blogger. Forging out into the search matrix and sharing ideas and thoughts, the wizard allows other, lesser search wizards to benefit from their knowledge.
  
• Hijack Ranking: One of the deadliest and dangerous spells of the black hats, this spell allows a wizard to take away, without knowledge or consent of the search Gods, the rankings of their competitors and enemies. However, the danger of getting caught and forcing the search gods to change the search energies is high.
  
• Pacify Client: Often times, those who the wizard deals with have unrealistic expectations of the limits of the search wizard. With cool logic and explanations, the wizard is able to charm the client into understanding the basics of the magic of search.
  
• Summon Viral Links: The highest level of link summoning, the wizard invests a small amount of energy and causes thousands of users to create links for them... once summoned, the users pass along and cause other users to link. The duration of this spell widely varies.
  
• Summon Named Blogger: The wizard, at this level is able to connect with and get a link from some of the demi-gods of search, Matt Cutts, Andy Beal or Jeremy Zawodny
  
• Voice of SES: Gaining the voice of SES confirms your status in the search wizarding world. Hundreds and thousands of other wizards come to hear your methods, your insights and your spells. Often thought of as the highest level to attain before you reach demi-god status, the more you become the Voice of SES, there is no limit from where you can go.
  
• Divine Competitor Strategy: The wizard is able to take all the spells, components, tools and scrying methods to divine the strategy of the competition. With this look into the actions of those against you, the wizard is able to create a counter strategy.
  

If you'd like to add to the wizards of search grimorie, just let me know and I'll add them.

Tagged With a Book Meme - Curse You Foseelovechild

Rules:
1. Grab the nearest book
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.
6. Tag 5 people

Here we go:
1: The nearest book is "Why Darwin Matters: The Case Against Intelligent Design by Michael Shermer".

2: "This is the fundamental difference between religion and science. If you attempt to reconcile and combine religion and science on questions about nature and the universe, and if you push the science to its logical conclusion, you will end up naturalizing the deity; for any question about nature, if your answer is "God did it," a scientist will ask such questions as "How did God do it? What forces did God use? What forms of matter and energy were employed by the creation process?" The end result of this inquiry can only be natural explanations for all natural phenomena."

The following people are tagged:
Garrett French
Cord Silverstein
Stephen Ward
Koenig
Randy H.

Now, make with the memes!

Google TV Beta Hoax - Too Bad Though, I'd Love It

From Google-Blogoscoped, they posted a video of how to get into Google TV's beta program.

They listed some of the creative ways that Google has engaged the community, some of the jokes they've done and generally, set the stage to soften the user's skepticality... then they drop the bomb.

This is the best kind of hoax, the kind that's almost believable, gives people what they want, and creates a fun buzz. Here you go, here's the video...

In-Game Advertising, What Could Possibly Go Wrong - My Latest Article for Ten Ton Hammer

In Game Advertising Could Be the Next Best Thing to Gaming
By J.P. "Agon Thalia" Sherman

There's no easy way to say this… ingame ads are here and they're only going to get more prevalent. There are racing games that contextually place billboard ads according to the players' web traffic habits, there are plans to make interactive items ingame, like a can of Sprite on a table that a player can "drink". Some ingame art like graffiti can change according to advertisers demands. Even now, Google is courting with companies like AdScape Media to put their own brand of personalized, customized and targeted advertisements inside our games. I have seen the future and it is full of ads.

Read the Entire Article at Ten Ton Hammer...

My Name Is Earl: Drives Traffic Online and Adds Viewers

You know the kind of guy who does nothing but watch TV and analyze it on the net, then wonders why his friends think he's crazy? Well, that was me. Every time I watched something good or bad on TV, something had to be posted on the internet. That’s when I realized I had to change. My name is JP.

I really enjoy the show My Name Is Earl. I started watching it because I would turn on the TiVo early so I could fast-forward the commercials during The Office. The last episode of the show, "Kept a Guy Locked in a Truck" the character Josh gets killed in a tragic murphy bed incident. wait... let me rewind.

Joy, Earl's ex-wife, wanted to get back at a store for refusing her return, so in retribution, she stole one of the store's delivery trucks. She enlisted Earl to help, which he did because he was trying to make up his past sins toward Joy. They hide the truck for a few days. When they open it up, they find that there was an employee "Josh" locked in the truck. Eventually, Joy was booked for kidnapping and Josh was the only witness. Well, in the last episode, Josh dies when his murphy bed snaps back into the wall and crushes him.

As the story progresses, we find that Josh is a regular poster to the TV forum, review and recap site, Television Without Pity under the name "whojackie". During the show, he's shown typing on his computer and saying:

"No, I don’t think shows should do more meta jokes that cater to the online bloggers and I’m sure everyone at Television Without Pity Dot Com agrees with me."

Turns out that whojackie has been an active member for over two years, and on the day the show airs, there's a post from whojackie. Later on in the show, Joy tries to find friends to attend Josh's funeral and posts to the wide wide world of web.

My point is that NBC is brilliantly driving people online, in a round-about way to consume their content. Giving a shout out to Television Without Pity is a great way to create buzz among fans, give interaction between the stars and their fans and create a level of "reality" that's just fun and unique.

Later on in the thread, there are people who hadn't seen the show hear about what happened, and what they've done is watch some of the shows that NBC has on their site and they've been converted into viewers. Another thing that the producers of My Name is Earl does, is set up, through TWoP, a "whojackie Memorial", where all proceeds go to the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

Brilliant move for NBC, Greg Garcia and the entire show. Not only did they create perfect viral buzz among their target market, they did so well, that they're adding new viewers because of the efforts. They deserve every accolade they get, and more.

Freaking Brilliant

PS: Shout-out to Koenig
Edit: Crabman responds
Edit: Josh's death foreshadowed from Dec.

More on Evidence Based Managment

I love this cartoon, and as I go through Pfeffer and Suttons' book, there are parts of the book that remind me of this.

This cartoon has been used to entertain math geeks, critique pseudoscience like Intelligent Design, and brilliantly show that knowledge starts with data and ends with something useful (hopefully). But somewhere in the middle is the arduous task of analysis, being wrong, being frustrated, hard work, peer review and all of the un-sexy stuff that gets ignored.

It's kind of a small rant, but it's the "CSI-ification" of science or analysis... they get a clue, then some fancy camera shots and a high tech lab... chemicals and viola! They get the information they need to catch the bad guy.

The miracle is hard work... it's the analysis, it's the brainstorming of lots of smart people trying to figure it out. To call it a miracle is almost an insult... and that's why I love this cartoon

On Notice

Now I too can arbitrarily put things on notice!!

my friends better stay on my good side, or else.